One Plus One is Ten
Marital struggles look different for every couple. It’s what we do with them that helps shape our strength together.
Recently at the airport, I saw something I can’t shake. A gate change had left several of us in wheelchairs waiting for help. Boarding was still 45 minutes away, but an impatient older man began yelling at the gate agents about the delay.
Then he decided to make the move to the new gate at the other end of the terminal. Although both he and his wife were using wheelchairs to maneuver through the airport, he sat down in his wheelchair while his frail, bent-over wife stood up from hers. She pushed him with one hand and dragged a rolling bag behind her with the other. He held his cane across his lap.
It was hard to watch. He was tall, stout, and seemed stronger than her. Yet, she carried the weight for both. My honest thought was, I’ll be doggone if I’m going to get up and push you.
Later, telling the story to my husband, I couldn't help but smile at his response. He shook his head and said, “Yeah, if we’re going to struggle, we’re going to struggle together.” Chuckling, he added, “We’d use that cane as an oar.”
I laughed and said, “Yep. I’ll sit on your lap and use my one good foot to help move us along.”
Can you picture it? Two people rowing with a cane, laughing at the awkwardness, but still moving forward side by side. Isn’t that the kind of partnership God intended marriage to be?
Scripture reminds us that one can chase a thousand, but two can put ten thousand to flight (Deuteronomy 32:30).
Did you get that? In God’s design for marriage, one plus one isn’t two. One plus one is TEN!
Marriage isn’t about one person doing all the work—it’s about multiplying strength together.
Not every couple multiplies strength. In the book of Acts, Ananias and Sapphira agreed together to lie about
money they had given to the church (Acts 5:1–11). They were united in deception which multiplied destruction
instead of strength.
Unity is powerful. Without God at the center though, it can carry us the wrong way.
Then there’s Abigail and Nabal (1 Samuel 25). Nabal’s foolishness endangered his whole household. Abigail, wise and discerning, stepped in to save them but carried the burden alone while her husband chose pride and recklessness.
Their story shows the weariness that comes when one spouse refuses to walk in wisdom. Marriage becomes lopsided, and the weight that was meant to be shared falls on one set of shoulders.
These stories of biblical couples serve as warnings of what’s to come if a couple doesn’t walk together in partnership with God at the center. But if they do, the impact is exponential as faith deepens and strength multiplies.
The couple at the airport painted a picture of imbalance. But my husband’s quick response illustrated a picture of unity. If we’re going to struggle, we’ll struggle together—even if it means turning a cane into an oar and laughing our way forward.
The difference between struggle that drains us and struggle that strengthens us is not about avoiding hard things. It’s about choosing to face them together with God. That’s my desire in marriage. Not perfection. Not one carrying all the weight. But two choosing to lean into the hard things together. Because two really are better than one.
Maybe you feel like you’re doing all the pushing right now. Or maybe you realize you’ve been sitting back while your spouse carries more than their share.
Wherever you are, know God designed marriage to multiply strength, not drain it.
Don’t disengage. Don’t carry it alone. Pick up the “cane” together, however awkward or messy it feels. Struggle side
by side. Laugh when you can. Trust God with the rest.
