When Everything Changed
Within one year, my entire life changed.
My daughter was admitted to the ICU just one month before her first birthday. As a mother, I wanted to fix everything. I wanted to take away her pain and make everything okay. But I couldn't. I had to sit beside my daughter and trust God with something I could not control. As a mother, I wanted to fix everything. I wanted to take away her pain and make everything okay. But I couldn't. I had to sit beside my daughter and trust God with something I could not control.
That season taught me that faith doesn't remove fear. Sometimes faith means being afraid and choosing to trust God anyway.
Then, my husband suffered a back injury leaving him disabled and unable to work. Overnight, I became the sole provider for our family of five. The weight of that responsibility overwhelmed me. Though still a wife and a mother, I was now also responsible for providing financially for our
entire family.
I didn't always feel strong. I rarely knew what to do next.
Then we lost our home.
We moved to a new state with no family nearby and had to start over. I left behind everything familiar. I remember wondering what God was doing. I couldn't see the whole picture. I could only see the next step in front of me.
But God could see what I couldn't.
Looking back, I see that those moments changed more than my circumstances. They changed me.
For a long time, I struggled to understand my identity. I only knew myself as a wife and a mother. Spending so much time and energy trying to be strong enough, capable enough, and good enough, I forgot that God never meant for me to carry everything on my own.
God taught me that my identity is not built on my circumstances or my ability to fix everything. It had to be built on Him.
Proverbs 14:1 became especially meaningful to me: Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands (Proverbs 14:1 KJV).
I began to understand that building a home is less about the walls in which we live and more about the foundation we choose. It is about what remains when the storms of life blow through and everything changes overnight.
God taught me that sometimes building begins with rebuilding.
He began rebuilding me.
Eventually, the lessons God taught me through that difficult year became the foundation of my life and my book, She Builds Her Home. I never expected this hard season to become a message I would one day share with other women.
But God has a way of redeeming what we think is wasted.
I can look back now, with new eyes, at my daughter’s time in the hospital, my husband's injury, the home we lost, and having to start over in a new state.
Before, I only saw sadness and struggles, but now, I see God.
He was there through every moment.
I didn't always understand what He was doing. I didn't always feel strong. But I was never alone.
As everything around me changed, God remained the same.
I’m still learning and growing. My life is not perfect. But I know where my foundation lies.
